Let’s just take a humble moment of silence for the failures we encountered today, can we?!
I’m noticing a pattern, but I’ve got no idea how to remedy it. It’s like all the day’s stress hits the fan at precisely 5pm and it makes it nearly impossible to remain positive and not complain. I think a key factor is my 2 month old recently revving up his evening colic routine. A baby’s incessant cry can be unnerving for most, and it has a profound effect on all of us– each in a different way. It makes the toddler lash out because he wants attention that the baby is stealing all evening, it makes the husband stressed because he can’t stop the crying, and it makes me short tempered because by that point I’m running on positivity fumes and just want to relax.
I read a quote in the book that stood out to me; “You have to be the best you can be right where you are.” In this quote, Joel is talking makes the suggestion to blossom wherever you’re put, no matter the circumstance. I blossomed today up until about 5pm. Then I shriveled into a weed. But it’s okay. I acknowledge it and wake up tomorrow with a better approach. I am choosing to congratulate myself on the accomplishment, which was ¾ of a day done well! That’s saying a lot when you have two kids two years old and under. A lot can go astray throughout the day and we handled it well. We did our best.
Simply put, at the end of the day it’s just easy to want to vent and commiserate with a fellow adult/parent who gets it. That’s ok to do… sometimes. If I do that every day though, I’m putting a lot of emphasis on the negatives that occurred each day. In order to bring more happiness into my life, I need to shift that focus to what went RIGHT during the day.
As a new mom I’m juggling a lot and I deserve to treat myself with kindness and understanding, but I also fear if I continue with this habit of complaining, I’ll remain my own worst enemy. I need a plan of action. I am a list maker and I need something tangible that I can hold and commit into action. I don’t do well dwelling in negative emotions too frequently; I have a biological tendency to revert to anxiety or depression. It’s important for my well-being, and as an extension of that my family’s well-being, to be proactive about reducing stress in our home. Less stress = less opportunity to complain. But it’s easier said than done!
What am I going to do about this? My three step approach to battling stress triggers:
- Acknowledge the trigger/stressor: Baby crying with colic/reflux
- Attempt to remedy/take action to eliminate trigger if possible: Increase frequency/use of colic remedies (read more here)
- Engage coping skills: Baby wear, get daddy and toddler outdoors, play music, deep breathing, etc
I’ll let you know how my “plan of attack” works out. Wish us luck!